Author: Sy Ogulnick

Sy Ogulnick received a BA from UCLA, Teacher’s Credential from Los Angeles Board of Education and completed phase I (Master’s portion) in a Doctor of Behavioral Science program at California Coast University. Sy leased and operated a summer day camp in LA. He and his wife then purchased virgin wilderness land in Northern CA, where they built and operated a coed summer camp. They moved to Las Vegas, NV, and purchased, built and operated a community children’s program for families staying in a major resort casino in Las Vegas. They have created programs for children nationwide that employed many people and in the process developed successful training programs for personnel. This led Sy to lecture on how to train staff and the creating of community within the workplace. Sy was then invited to speak at professional conferences on how best to hire and train employees, which led to his becoming a consultant in the art of improving relationships in a work environment and eventually to his epiphany that “Leaders are the primary problem and the answer to the personnel issues that arise in the workplace.” Sy has written numerous papers on the subject of interpersonal relationships, leadership and power. He has lectured throughout the United States, has been interviewed by the media and has appeared on many radio and TV talk shows

A Poetic Moment

I love words and seek out the “right” one.

The word that fits, that is it, and does not weigh a ton.

By this, I mean the word that says what is right.

Words that fit the thought, the word that fits tight.

I love the challenge of finding a “word” that speaks with strength.

So, there is no question of what I write is meant.

Words are my way to express who I am and what I think.

To my body and mind, it is a significant link.

Always a challenge I sought in the past.

Challenges I thought had the power to last.

All gone, but for wonderful memories of lives lived too fast.

Thoughts On Keeping In Touch

As I have previously written, my hearing and eyesight are worsening, and generally speaking, my ability to care for myself and Lenette is also declining. At this point, she needs more care than I can provide.

Thankfully, our adopted family members have come forward to assist us in making our days work. Grateful is too weak a word to describe our feelings toward them. We are blessed to have the love and care they give us.

I know many have tried to reach us since we’ve moved. My mobile phone number is: (seven-seven-five)-five-five-eight-nine-four-zero-one*. It’s an old flip phone that sometimes rings through and sometimes doesn’t. I intend to get myself a new phone that I can see and that works all the time. In any case, if you wish to reach me, keep trying to get through.

I must add that while convenient, text messages, in my opinion, are not the best way to communicate. Being from the “face-to-face” communication era, I know its value. Eye contact was (and remains) an important component in gauging the general composure of the person we were communicating with.

When speaking face-to-face, we enjoyed a complete picture of who we were communicating with. As a result, we heard, listened, and understood. I have always felt this was the best way to share and discuss things, and in my dealings with others, communicating effectively was the foundation of my philosophy.

I question whether anything like this is possible with texting. Texts must be brief, to the point, and mostly without confirmation, something which I believe is essential to authentic dialogue. While we may feel connected, are we?

*I see no reason to make it easier for bots to scrub the web for random phone#s (Ed).

Seeking Subjects

Aging, leader of leaders, power, dialogue, and relationships are rich subjects that affect us throughout our lives. And while I see no end in what I have to say about any of them, perhaps you can propose more that might be of interest. Here is where you can be of considerable help. Write to me, suggesting topics you want my opinion on, and if I have any ideas running around in my head, you can be sure I will share them.

In a recent essay, I wrote that power in the hands of some was such that they built dynasties that survived for hundreds of years and that millions have died for causes they had no stake in.In contrast, millions more have benefited from roads, clean water distribution, trade, and more made possible by influential leaders.

History tells the story of humanity’s journey, which, while full of pain and despair, contains much that is good. All stems from leadership. I write of these things because power and leadership continue to rule the state of the world. Even the environment as it disintegrates from human abuse. Leaders of leaders, people of power, push and pull the world where they want it to be, even if what they do eventually destroys them, too.

I write what I know—Experience my true path—It is me, myself

Our Past Is Our Future

In a recent post, I ended the essay by stating that being a leader is the most important job in the world. The more I think about this, the more I believe it to be true.

Leaders have built the world as we know it. Yet, leaders have also destroyed their worlds and often what followed. The Greek Empire was not the first example of this, but followed many others, which led to the mighty Roman Empire that lasted for hundreds of years. History is clear: what is built by man is destroyed by man. To this day, power continues to be badly misunderstood.

People, being human, are therefore fallible and error-prone. Sometimes weak, strong, kind, and sensitive, while at other times arrogant and stupidly sure of themselves. We are all of this and more. Still, throughout time, some have managed to create civilizations that have lasted hundreds of years, benefitting millions upon millions of people, while others have been responsible for sacrificing millions upon millions of lives for their selfish and smallminded goals. All this is in the grand scheme of the rare rock that provides resources for life—our planet, Earth.

This and more is our history. Certain people take charge of what exists and take it to other places or build what did not exist before. They create organizations and leaders. Some become leaders of leaders.

Their leadership, good and bad, has made our world and will continue to make or break it.

Man, his own enemy—Does not know the power of power—Ignorance his bliss

Caring Professionals

The weekly home visits arranged by our primary caregiver make us feel special, but we know we are just an example of what must occur throughout the system we are lucky to be a part of.

When we are examined and treated, it is evident that the nurse practitioners are knowledgeable about what they do and do it well. We have never felt we are merely a number on a list as part of their schedule.

My primary care comes from the Veterans Administration, and I could not be more pleased. From something as impersonal as a phone call to speaking with almost anyone, I am immediately cared for. My country has served me well, from education to medication, and I am grateful and appreciative of it all.

At least, as far as I have experienced, our systems work well. Yes, there are problems aplenty, particularly in small, underserved communities and large cities where the population overwhelms the available services. That is not the case here. We arrived in the Reno area in 1972 and have remained. It has been good to us.

Many serve our needs—We are blessed and lucky, too—Hope, need to give back

Living Long

Long life is not something a human can plan on. It happens to the few and is not a matter of blood or inheritance. The average life in the U.S. is about 73 for men and 79 for women. Why am I entering my 97^th year and Lenette her 91^st? It is a reasonable question to ask.

Physical and mental use cannot be the answer. We were always active, but nothing unusual or unique. As I’ve stated previously, we never thought about “old,” so old was never a subject with us.

It is also important to note that we never associated with people our age. Our friends were always much younger and active. This is also true of the professionals and entrepreneurs we worked with nationwide. On average, they were at least ten years younger but rich in life experiences.

What may have helped keep me young was pushing myself as a student of power and leadership. This drove me to understand and devise ways for this to be taught.

Lenette played a vital role at the beginning of my research. She typed my notes until she taught me to type. So, we both learned and used the material in our relationship. Our ability to communicate with each other soared.

Clearly, my seeking to understand relationships made a massive difference in my own life. I never wondered what kind of leader I was; I just led. As a leadership teacher, I learned of its complexity; nothing asks more of a human than when they are leaders.

The Face-To-Face Connection

It is one thing and an important thing when we speak to each other over the phone and, to a lesser extent, when we email each other. But face-to-face is always the best and means the most to us. Looking into another’s eyes is the best and most welcome experience of all.

When friends and acquaintances are with us, and dialogue happens, we are all participants, not just listeners and passive but involved with what is being said. There is a connection between us that is special. It takes place when we are physically, emotionally, and intellectually together. A reminder that together does not mean or intend agreement. How beautiful are these moments?

When we created the Youth Hotel at the world-renowned International Hotel in Las Vegas, its very foundation was built on dialogue, face-to-face connection, and the assurance that no child is alone but connected to a staff member until the child disconnects to join into activities they choose or are invited to join.

The face-to-face and emotional connection makes being together such a unique experience. Technology will not and cannot replace this, although there is every effort to do so.

Being physically and emotionally together also brings being in the present into play. The present is what is real. The past exists as a memory, while the future is yet unknown. When with friends, the present is our stage, where hopefully, we are not acting but are real.

Share with me some time—You be you and I be me—Is there more to be?

Team Building

Building a team is one of the most challenging tasks any leader will face and hope to achieve. As I see it, a team forms itself and, therefore, needs history. In other words, the team is the experience each member has as individuals over a long period. None are identical; all are different, which is what separates one team from another.

I created environments for children and staff to play, learn, work, and live together. The pragmatic working philosophy gave college students responsibility for building strong and caring relationships between themselves, eight kids of similar age and sex, and an assistant teenage junior counselor. They lived together in tight quarters that they could completely rebuild to suit their own needs and often did just that.

The whole point was that each group was its own camp. That was how our counselors were trained. The idea was to bring responsibility to its most personal level for themselves and those they lived with.

This group living experiment led to other successful programs that became known worldwide. It also led to adult organizations of every kind.

When studied, the best teams are not individuals lost in the mix of a group who look and act as one, but individuals being entirely themselves. It’s never an easy thing to accomplish.

I join with my group—They join with me together—We are one, yet more

The Challenge Of Care

Most people care for themselves and others throughout most of their lives. It is what we do as parents, teachers, and leaders. If we live long enough, we go from being caregivers to needing care. Still, we need some important education to do either of them well.

Being at an age that requires care is not a pleasant place to be. Going from independence or relative independence to dependence is not something to be sought or asked for.

Being a caregiver demands certain knowledge and behavior. It’s one thing to react to the moment and a completely different thing to be a caregiver as one’s job. Family members are rarely trained caregivers, and when they must be, how long does this last? How long can it last?

The cost is considerable when professional caregivers are involved, and if funds for this purpose are limited, the strain on the family is significant and may be impossible. So what can be done?

The aged are either helpless or becoming helpless and are entirely aware of what is happening within their family. What do they feel? How do family members feel?

The whole family must face the issue of elder care at the kitchen table. This is never easy to deal with—the feelings of love and obligation to aging family members are not without complications. Care must be given in every case but from whom, for how long, and in what ways?

It is worth restating that professional care may be beyond the finances of many families who have not planned for this eventuality. And inevitably, as the aging family member continues to live, costs will continue to rise.

All at the kitchen table must discuss these issues and more before the time of need. Putting a plan in place and having a frank evaluation of what may lie ahead is necessary to prepare all involved. Here, as always, genuine dialogue is of the utmost importance.

Speaking for ourselves, we are grateful beyond words for the care that our friends give us. We are forever emotionally in debt to all who are there for us.

Sy & Lenette

Memories Of Our First Home

We have many great memories, all worth remembering. So, instead of writing about aging and its arduous challenges, I’ll go light and reminisce.

I want to share some of the love and adventure we experienced in our first home. Soon after our marriage, Lenette found a 900 sq. ft., two-bedroom GI house in Northridge, California. At the time, we carried three mortgages on a house worth $12,000.

Shortly after we moved in, we got our cat, Cleo, and two dogs. Many readers will recall Brutus, a Beagle-Hound dog, and Heidi, a huge German Shepherd. As I’ve often recounted, they loved each other, and we became family.

It wasn’t long afterward that Lenette remade our backyard, landscaping it into two levels and adding a rock-faced waterfall and trees for shade. We loved it, and so did the animals.

Here, we held our first-ever Christmas Party for our entire family. It was such a memorable success it became part of our family’s history.

Yet, there was far more that happened here. Jeff’s story is known by most; he came to live with us as a troubled 11-year-old, and he also found his first home here. We all became a close and loving family in every sense and shared the confines of the 900-square-foot space very well.

After Jeff graduated high school, he went off on his own. Eventually, he joined the Army and served in the 101^st Airborne in Vietnam. He and Georgia have been happily married for over 45 years.

That small home gave birth to some amazing memories!