Thoughts on Power

Negative power is the Power that damages all relationships, including those at home, school, or work.

Regardless of location, where power is used badly, it does significant harm. Destructive power always begins as a hierarchy where someone sits at the top of the pyramid, and only a single chair exists.

That chair at the top might be for a father or a mother, or it could be a teacher, an immediate boss, and all the bosses above.

Power can be found almost everywhere.

It might be gross or subtle. Ideally, the job of the one in power should be to “empower” others lower in the hierarchy. Ignoring this obligation will make matters worse. Subordinates know what they experience, hear, see, and feel. To empower is to give and grow the other.  So, if you can do so, be a good farmer.

To empower, my job—what other way is there for me—And that, to build you

Another Book on the Way

My 4th book is being edited and will be on Amazon soon. 

So, what will this version of Sy be? It will explore the “Leader of Leaders,” power, the leader as an employee (most leaders are), relationships, dialogue, and The Inner Circle. Also, since I enjoy poetry and the Haiku form, I hope to have a poetry/haiku book edited and published soon. I have fun playing with words and thoughts, which is what poetry and haiku are to me… Fun!

I invite you to feel free and join me in what I write. If you want my thoughts on a given subject, please reach out to inform me. Maybe I will have something to say, or maybe not, but I will write if I feel I am able.

I have no idea where this journey leads until I sit at the computer and begin to type. It is my style. Words lead to more words and thoughts to more thoughts.

Being productive—Is what I must be, just me—I am what you see

Bringing You Up To Date

Lenette has told me I must live as long as I am productive. So far, I am doing my best.

My 4th book is being edited and should be in the publishers’ hands soon. I believe that the essays in this book are among the best I have written.

My essays on “The Leaders of Leaders” contain fresh insights into a better understanding of power in the hands of certain people.

Over 27 years, teaching my pragmatic philosophy was always an essential part of my work with staff, a practice that led to working with professionals and entrepreneurs.

Guiding these organizations in ways to improve their staff took me into a new profession. This led me to discover that staff is not the problem. Unthinking and blind power in the hands of the leader is the problem.

What I have learned about power and leadership has taught me that while leadership has built our world, it also has the potential to destroy it.

Leadership, with its power to influence and accomplish, is the prime factor in all relationships. Relationships depend on whether those in power can create a positive environment for healthy give and take. This applies to the family kitchen table and large organizations alike.

Unquestionably, those in power (the Leaders of Leaders) hold tremendous power. They alone build and influence their environments. They are everywhere, from professionals building organizations to leading their families in discussions around the Kitchen Table.

I am the power—Around the Kitchen Table—No one else but me

A relationship—Never easy to have, keep—We need this badly 

Number One

I want you and everyone I have ever met to be number 1. That is, to be as much themselves as possible. I am myself. I am me, and I have never met another like me. I have no intention of glorifying myself. I simply mean that I am myself and want others I relate to be themselves.

Throughout my work with children, young adults, professionals, and entrepreneurs, I not only wanted people to be themselves but also did my best to make this happen. Promoting self is vital to me.

To clarify, the desire to be oneself is central to me. I also realize this is difficult if your history is about not being.

The other night, I dreamed that I was at the Kitchen Table, sitting across from my two-year-old son. I was reading the paper and enjoying a cup of coffee, and the child across from me said, “Dada.” I slowly put the paper and coffee cup aside, grabbed the child, and held him close.

I said, “I love you,” and held him even tighter. “What do you want to say?” I asked him.

Instantly, I had another dream segment. I heard the child say, “Dada,” yet continued to read the paper and drink my coffee. I did not ask for more. I heard him but kept my nose in the paper, ignoring him. What message did that send?

All of us are born unique. We are one of a kind. Yes, strong similarities exist, but we are not identical. I believe in the specialness of every individual on this earth and treat each person with whom I meet and live in that special way.

When I hugged my son in my dream, I not only told him that I loved him but was ready to hear more from him.

During my many years as a leader of leaders, I always listened to my employees and friends and never treated anyone with less than respect. I listened, asked questions, and took care of what needed to be cared for. 

As a leader, I was, and am, also a role model and teacher from my behavior and by simply being me. I know I have power that must be exercised wisely. It is what people see me being. If I want people to be themselves, I must acknowledge their efforts. 

A major problem is one’s history. Moving past the childhood environment is challenging to deal with. Even one’s present life at home and with family is not a small thing. 

My approach to people is consistency, respect, and regard. It is imperative that my message and support for a person is to be as much themselves as possible. This could not happen if I treated them as things. 

To me, everyone is a number one. They may see themselves as a 2, 5, or 8 because, without question, that is how they were treated as children. None of this is inherent in blood or DNA. All is conditioning. I know for a fact that in healthy and loving relationships, people can come to be number one. They are born with this potential, which remains with them, even if buried deep by their family. When I worked with individuals, their history made no difference to me. I treated them as number one, and guess what? That’s what they became.

You and me are one—Not me ahead we are one—I will help you be

“Syku”

Sy has been going back over all of the posts on the blog and adding haikus to them. Ira Lieb suggested this quite a while ago, and with the help of mid-journey AI, we can add a little something extra to Sy’s Haikus. This one is based on the post “71 and Cyclone.” We’ll be posting more of these, depending on your comments! (SZ )

71 And Cyclone

A puppy horse—was Cyclone our gift of a horse—She gave us such joy.

Creating the Best Environment

Last night, at around 2 am, I woke up and began to think of “relationships and dialogue,” which led me to ponder the difference between the kitchen table and the office. 

Most offices are structurally formal, meaning there is usually a desk for the person who works within the office, chairs for others, and perhaps a couch. There is a hierarchy, implied or expressed, that is built into the very environment.

At the kitchen table in a functioning home, the very shape and structure of that meeting place serve to flatten the pyramid. Ideally, there is no greater democratic and relationship-building environment. I cannot overstate the value of significant relationships and the dialogue that takes place there. Of course, the kitchen table isn’t always a physical environment. It can be anywhere that people feel safe and listened to. 

As I’m sure you know, I consider dialogue and relationships the most essential conditions between people who are important to each other. I became a better person and leader because I was fortunate enough to have fostered a kitchen table environment for my own inner circle. Those relationships played significant roles in my life that continue to this day.

We all need to ensure we have a kitchen table, whether figurative or physical, and we need to make good use of it. All leaders, whether professional or familial, have the power to create environments, often being unconscious of their own influence. That is both the gift and the curse of being powerful. Recognizing the difference between environments that empower and promote authentic relationships versus those that foster submissive and fearful pawns is the hallmark of effective leadership.

The Kitchen Table—Do not take it for granted—It is powerful

More About the Kitchen Table

Over the last few years, I have written often about the “Kitchen Table” because it means a great deal to me. 

The table in the kitchen is the most democratic and informational place in our homes. It is where everyone sitting there should be acknowledged and listened to regardless of agreement. It is where each person has the opportunity to speak their own voice.

Ideally, the table is where everyone, including children, is treated as equals. This acceptance plays a meaningful role in each participant’s emotional well-being, including the all-important sense of belonging. To not be invisible, to speak one’s mind, ask questions, and give answers. All critical to growth and finding one’s own voice.

On the other hand, the kitchen table can also be where the suppression of voice begins with young children. They are told to be seen and not heard. This emotional damage continues into adulthood. How ironic that this happens at the most democratic environment in their homes! It is shameful that adults can do this to their children.