The Way It Ought To Be

I had a thought only a few minutes ago, yet now I’m trying to recall what I was thinking about. I believe I was thinking about the time that we healed ourselves. I had all kinds of accidents but few colds and no illness. I bounced back from accidents so quickly that I never had to quit any activity. That is until Lenette insisted that I quit and give my toys away. I was in my eighties.

Apparently, healing is for the young, or at least the young at heart. There is no healing any further.  We are slowly but surely deteriorating.  I see it, feel it, and know it. The sands are running out, which is how it should be.

So, as I sat in the sunshine, I thought about this and accepted it readily. It is the way it ought to be. We are each a book with a beginning and an end, hopefully with many exciting ups and downs on its many pages. Lenette and I lived this way and handled every up and every down as honestly and courageously as possible.

I often use the word “serendipitous” because I believe this is how we live. Throughout our lives, unexpected happenings with strange people often played huge and dramatic roles. 

I have told the stories probably a few times. We wonder at the many incidents that played enormous parts in our lives. And, as I have written, these were not only long-term events. Often, new chapters were written in mere minutes.

I am sure we are not unique in how “things” took place and played out. What we are is independent. We choose our way forward with its many responsibilities. It is what we wanted and fulfilled.



I’m feeling fine and relatively strong despite having trouble seeing and hearing. Who asked for this? Not me! I once thought it was simple: we get old, then we die—but it ain’t. And because sight and hearing are essential to me, I write about them, and my feelings come out.

I realize that I bring up certain issues and subjects too often in my writing. It is my problem, to be sure, although it becomes one for my readers, for which I apologize. That’s not what I want. I wish to write on subjects my readers might benefit from, so I again ask for your suggestions. 

I have always been a teacher and I know my subjects. If not, I do not teach or speak to them. I may voice my opinion, but that’s not knowing a subject. To know a subject, one must research. Research was a joy for me, and Lenette typed my notes until she insisted that I learn how to type. This helped me to become a better student. I also learned that if I connected to what I was reading, I felt as if I were there. When reading various histories, I was there. I was in the room; I sat at the table or rode the horse. There is much to learn from history, but only if we become committed students.

Be student, teacher—Experience teaches both—To live is to learn



When I think of inner circles, I know what makes the good ones work. I also understand why the not-so-good ones fail.  All members of an inner circle must trust each other to the extent that they will accept and follow any other as their leader. 

The different problems that people and organizations invariably encounter will require someone who can lead the group or organization in resolving a specific situation. It is not always the leader of the leaders who has the necessary experience and ability to take on and fix the problem or issue. Here, the value of the inner circle comes to the fore. 

A member of the inner circle who has prior experience dealing with the issue at hand then becomes the leader of leaders. They wear the crown, take power, and lead in resolving the problem. Most importantly, the rest of the inner circle members are in full support. This includes the actual leader of leaders who temporarily becomes a working member of the inner circle.

That is why I write about “trust.” After all, what is any relationship without trust? The lack of trust is why most Inner circles do not function as intended. People are too often jealous and envious of those they work with and even those they live with. This lies at the root of the problems between them. And if power and control are in the mix, it likely plays a large part in making for difficulty in those interactions also. Trust is one of the keys to any successful relationship.


Slowing The Process

As the population grows older, institutions should adapt to better serve the elderly’s needs, which are many and complex. Part of the complexity is due to the aging person being woefully unprepared for the changes.

Depending on the individual, these cognitive and physical changes occur simultaneously or one after the other. Regardless, most of the aging need to prepare for the changes that are happening to them.

There is no question that we can slow the process by taking good care of ourselves. Proper exercise, staying physically and mentally active, along with wise choices of food, drink, and rest all contribute to this. 

Still, the self needs plenty of help to age well. And society at large needs to play a larger and more significant part in this. Essential businesses, such as financial institutions, need to make banking and related services as easy as possible. The same goes for shopping for food, clothing, and other necessities.  

Making the life of the aging as simple as possible means changes that are well thought out, researched, and tested on the elderly population. The “elder” market is enormous and growing, so it is smart for businesses to do everything in their power to accommodate the aging adult.

Being old a fact—Treated as dumb is so sad—Being old not bad


Understanding Aging

Aging needs to be more fully understood. Simply put, it is not a happy time for those going through it, nor is it an easy time for their loved ones and friends. 

The older I get, the more needy and helpless I’ve become. I have written about my macular degeneration—a slow and irreversible condition. My hearing aids work well as long as I am in a small room and only a few people are talking. In a large room with many others, I hear nothing.

As I’ve stated countless times, aging sucks. Yet, there are some bright points. From our experiences dealing with our local “caregivers,” hospitals, and insurance, we are covered like a blanket! Outstanding care is given to us, for which we are grateful. The people and organizations we relate to and need at our age take exceptional care of our needs. They authentically understand us.

On the other hand, the world at large does not appear to fully comprehend what aging entails. Only when they reach a place where they realize they are not who or what they were Yesterday does their mindset begin to change. Many, of course, can hold on to their youthful ways well into their 70s as we did, never thinking we were “old.” But it eventually hit us, and we were shocked at our changes. 

Aging, I lose it—What I gain is nothing to like—Me, my opinion


A Poetic Moment

I love words and seek out the “right” one.

The word that fits, that is it, and does not weigh a ton. 

By this, I mean the word that says what is right.

Words that fit the thought, the word that fits tight.

I love the challenge of finding a “word” that speaks with strength.

So, there is no question of what I write is meant.

Words are my way to express who I am and what I think.

To my body and mind, it is a significant link.

Always a challenge I sought in the past.

Challenges I thought had the power to last.

All gone, but for wonderful memories of lives lived too fast.  

Thoughts On Keeping In Touch

As I have previously written, my hearing and eyesight are worsening, and generally speaking, my ability to care for myself and Lenette is also declining. At this point, she needs more care than I can provide.

Thankfully, our adopted family members have come forward to assist us in making our days work. Grateful is too weak a word to describe our feelings toward them. We are blessed to have the love and care they give us.

I know many have tried to reach us since we’ve moved. My mobile phone number is: (seven-seven-five)-five-five-eight-nine-four-zero-one*. It’s an old flip phone that sometimes rings through and sometimes doesn’t. I intend to get myself a new phone that I can see and that works all the time.  In any case, if you wish to reach me, keep trying to get through.

I must add that while convenient, text messages, in my opinion, are not the best way to communicate. Being from the “face-to-face” communication era, I know its value. Eye contact was (and remains) an important component in gauging the general composure of the person we were communicating with. 

When speaking face-to-face, we enjoyed a complete picture of who we were communicating with. As a result, we heard, listened, and understood. I have always felt this was the best way to share and discuss things, and in my dealings with others, communicating effectively was the foundation of my philosophy.

I question whether anything like this is possible with texting. Texts must be brief, to the point, and mostly without confirmation, something which I believe is essential to authentic dialogue. While we may feel connected, are we? 


*I see no reason to make it easier for bots to scrub the web for random phone#s (Ed).  

Seeking Subjects

Aging, leader of leaders, power, dialogue, and relationships are rich subjects that affect us throughout our lives. And while I see no end in what I have to say about any of them, perhaps you can propose more that might be of interest. Here is where you can be of considerable help. Write to me, suggesting topics you want my opinion on, and if I have any ideas running around in my head, you can be sure I will share them. 

In a recent essay, I wrote that power in the hands of some was such that they built dynasties that survived for hundreds of years and that millions have died for causes they had no stake in.In contrast, millions more have benefited from roads, clean water distribution, trade, and more made possible by influential leaders.  

History tells the story of humanity’s journey, which, while full of pain and despair, contains much that is good. All stems from leadership. I write of these things because power and leadership continue to rule the state of the world. Even the environment as it disintegrates from human abuse. Leaders of leaders, people of power, push and pull the world where they want it to be, even if what they do eventually destroys them, too. 

I write what I know—Experience my true path—It is me, myself


Our Past Is Our Future

In a recent post, I ended the essay by stating that being a leader is the most important job in the world. The more I think about this, the more I believe it to be true.

Leaders have built the world as we know it. Yet, leaders have also destroyed their worlds and often what followed. The Greek Empire was not the first example of this, but followed many others, which led to the mighty Roman Empire that lasted for hundreds of years. History is clear: what is built by man is destroyed by man. To this day, power continues to be badly misunderstood.

People, being human, are therefore fallible and error-prone. Sometimes weak, strong, kind, and sensitive, while at other times arrogant and stupidly sure of themselves. We are all of this and more. Still, throughout time, some have managed to create civilizations that have lasted hundreds of years, benefitting millions upon millions of people, while others have been responsible for sacrificing millions upon millions of lives for their selfish and smallminded goals. All this is in the grand scheme of the rare rock that provides resources for life—our planet, Earth.

This and more is our history.  Certain people take charge of what exists and take it to other places or build what did not exist before. They create organizations and leaders. Some become leaders of leaders.

Their leadership, good and bad, has made our world and will continue to make or break it.

Man, his own enemy—Does not know the power of power—Ignorance his bliss


Caring Professionals

The weekly home visits arranged by our primary caregiver make us feel special, but we know we are just an example of what must occur throughout the system we are lucky to be a part of. 

When we are examined and treated, it is evident that the nurse practitioners are knowledgeable about what they do and do it well. We have never felt we are merely a number on a list as part of their schedule. 

My primary care comes from the Veterans Administration, and I could not be more pleased. From something as impersonal as a phone call to speaking with almost anyone, I am immediately cared for. My country has served me well, from education to medication, and I am grateful and appreciative of it all. 

At least, as far as I have experienced, our systems work well. Yes, there are problems aplenty, particularly in small, underserved communities and large cities where the population overwhelms the available services. That is not the case here. We arrived in the Reno area in 1972 and have remained. It has been good to us.

Many serve our needs—We are blessed and lucky, too—Hope, need to give back