A Story Worth Telling

She is a dear friend, a super caregiver, who is barely reaching middle age and is exceptionally bright. Her family history for the first five years (based on her memory) was positive, but not much good occurred after that. I don’t know why because we have not gone there. 

She seeks to know the answer to many questions and is a self-motivated student of many things. A researcher on her own, she wants answers to many issues from health, diet, medicine, history, and government. She studies on her own and is facile with her laptop. So, this is who she is and what she does. But she refuses formal education, although she is smart enough to become a lawyer, Doctor, or professional in almost anything she chooses.

My read is that she is fearful of failure. I believe her background was dysfunctional in many ways, and she carries the scars of childhood deep within her. When we talk about education and school, her excuse for not seeking to become almost anything she chooses is, “I don’t want to be given a bunch of bullshit and be forced to sit silently taking it in.”

She sees a teacher/professor as an all-powerful force and anticipates that she, as a student, will be required to sit silently, taking everything said in. She is adamant about not wanting to be a piece of clay to be formed by someone that refuses the truth. It’s interesting that what she researches she considers as “truth.”

Being me, I confronted her with the thought that her fear of failure is such that she runs and hides behind all the excuses she verbalizes. I asked her if she would challenge me if I were her teacher, and she said that she would because I invite dialogue, give and take.

Maybe our “dialogue” made a difference? We will see. She recently announced that she will take some classes at the local college, and if all goes well, she will consider law school. If this works, look out!


Author: Sy Ogulnick

Sy Ogulnick received a BA from UCLA, Teacher’s Credential from Los Angeles Board of Education and completed phase I (Master’s portion) in a Doctor of Behavioral Science program at California Coast University. Sy leased and operated a summer day camp in LA. He and his wife then purchased virgin wilderness land in Northern CA, where they built and operated a coed summer camp. They moved to Las Vegas, NV, and purchased, built and operated a community children’s program for families staying in a major resort casino in Las Vegas. They have created programs for children nationwide that employed many people and in the process developed successful training programs for personnel. This led Sy to lecture on how to train staff and the creating of community within the workplace. Sy was then invited to speak at professional conferences on how best to hire and train employees, which led to his becoming a consultant in the art of improving relationships in a work environment and eventually to his epiphany that “Leaders are the primary problem and the answer to the personnel issues that arise in the workplace.” Sy has written numerous papers on the subject of interpersonal relationships, leadership and power. He has lectured throughout the United States, has been interviewed by the media and has appeared on many radio and TV talk shows

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