Becoming Oneself

We are unique. Each of us is an individual. Being this and remaining so is the job given to us at birth that continues to our death. I am that, and so are you, but not without help from our families and the world we will move into as we grow.
I don’t mean to suggest that without help and nurturing that we will not become ourselves. We are always ourselves, even if we hide behind our masks and personalities. The serious problem is that pretending to be someone other than yourself is impossible.

Of course, that gambit is always attempted, but failure with those close to you is assured. Moreover, that failure will constantly come between you, your friends and acquaintances, and those you work and live with. Living a lie has got to be hell for all concerned.

Then, why do people do this? It must begin early in our life. Parents and family are so influential that the marks inadvertently or deliberately made on our psyche are life-long scars we carry, whether hidden or obvious.

Thankfully, help in becoming as fully oneself as possible exists. It is found in and during the relationships with those I label a “leader.” Ideally, this leader is fully committed to you becoming you. They could be a teacher in school, your gang leader, a social friend, a leader at work, your mate, or maybe… and only maybe, a therapist you spend years with… And they’d have to be exceptional!
I make the case that becoming as much oneself as possible is our lifetime journey, with every experience either contributing to or detracting from our being. Never give up the fight “to be.”


Author: Sy Ogulnick

Sy Ogulnick received a BA from UCLA, Teacher’s Credential from Los Angeles Board of Education and completed phase I (Master’s portion) in a Doctor of Behavioral Science program at California Coast University. Sy leased and operated a summer day camp in LA. He and his wife then purchased virgin wilderness land in Northern CA, where they built and operated a coed summer camp. They moved to Las Vegas, NV, and purchased, built and operated a community children’s program for families staying in a major resort casino in Las Vegas. They have created programs for children nationwide that employed many people and in the process developed successful training programs for personnel. This led Sy to lecture on how to train staff and the creating of community within the workplace. Sy was then invited to speak at professional conferences on how best to hire and train employees, which led to his becoming a consultant in the art of improving relationships in a work environment and eventually to his epiphany that “Leaders are the primary problem and the answer to the personnel issues that arise in the workplace.” Sy has written numerous papers on the subject of interpersonal relationships, leadership and power. He has lectured throughout the United States, has been interviewed by the media and has appeared on many radio and TV talk shows

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