There are two types of caregivers: professional caregivers and those comprised of family and friends who step into the breach.
If you live long enough, you will need to be cared for, dressed, and helped in different ways we do not choose to think about. Today I can dress myself, tie my shoes, shower, and frankly, do everything I used to regarding day-to-day self-care. Still, I see the near future and don’t feel good about it. As life would have it, most of us do not live long enough to require being taken care of. I am blessed with longevity, a sound mind, and the physical ability to remain ambulatory without aids.
Now regarding the title of this essay: The professional caregivers Lenette and I have come across have been kind, sensitive, and knowledgeable. Thus far, we experience them via exams and other medical care when needed. They are not family but treat us with such care that we cannot help being impressed.
The main point of this essay is that while family is there for us as we hope and may expect, they are (likely) not professionals in the care of others, even if family and loved. In other words: They might assume complete care for their aging parents or in-laws, but this is a full-time job, not a “now and then” occurrence that is placed upon their shoulders. And, being still young or middle-aged, they have their own life demands. Do you want them to stop living their life to care for you?
So, do we really want to impose this on our children or the people who love us? If we live to the time when we cannot care for ourselves and still have the mental capacity to make reasonably wise decisions, what will that one be?
I need you to care—But not to deny your needs, too—A problem for us.
Sy
