I will continue to write about the special people in my life. By “special,” I mean that despite the cards they were dealt, they found ways to be themselves. I honor their courage and tenacity to remain themselves. Impossible in too many families and out of the question in certain societies, but that’s life!
To explain further: As babies and young children, we are like clay, driven by our inner need to be that which shapes us. This is powerful, but not powerful enough to withstand the external pressures that come from our first and primary caregivers. Conflict results like tectonic plates piling in on each other, and the more significant, more powerful one wins and shapes what is above and below. These are the great battles humans must face–The fight to be or not to be. Sadly, there are more losers than winners.
If life teaches anything, it teaches that nothing is permanent. The opportunity is always there for us to do and learn, grow as ourselves, and be what we choose to be. Time and age are not our enemies, but as FDR said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” In this context, as well as others, he was absolutely correct.
When I worked with adults, I worked with leaders and their Inner circles. Some were large groups of ten or more, but most were six to eight. Their trust in their leader and the leader’s trust in them was fundamental. So, who must grow as an essential example to all others?
All leaders have a throne at the top of a pyramid. The leader can move off the throne and sit with the others; even better, they can flatten the pyramid to the point where all are sitting at the “kitchen table.” When this happened, we would become one, if only temporarily, which led to real progress. If the leader chose not to grow, there was nowhere to go, in which case I could not help them.