The Unique Ones Among Us

I will continue to write about the special people in my life.  By “special,” I mean that despite the cards they were dealt, they found ways to be themselves.  I honor their courage and tenacity to remain themselves. Impossible in too many families and out of the question in certain societies, but that’s life!

To explain further: As babies and young children, we are like clay, driven by our inner need to be that which shapes us. This is powerful, but not powerful enough to withstand the external pressures that come from our first and primary caregivers. Conflict results like tectonic plates piling in on each other, and the more significant, more powerful one wins and shapes what is above and below. These are the great battles humans must face–The fight to be or not to be. Sadly, there are more losers than winners.

If life teaches anything, it teaches that nothing is permanent. The opportunity is always there for us to do and learn, grow as ourselves, and be what we choose to be.  Time and age are not our enemies, but as FDR said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” In this context, as well as others, he was absolutely correct. 

When I worked with adults, I worked with leaders and their Inner circles. Some were large groups of ten or more, but most were six to eight. Their trust in their leader and the leader’s trust in them was fundamental. So, who must grow as an essential example to all others? 

All leaders have a throne at the top of a pyramid.  The leader can move off the throne and sit with the others; even better, they can flatten the pyramid to the point where all are sitting at the “kitchen table.” When this happened, we would become one, if only temporarily, which led to real progress. If the leader chose not to grow, there was nowhere to go, in which case I could not help them.


Author: Sy Ogulnick

Sy Ogulnick received a BA from UCLA, Teacher’s Credential from Los Angeles Board of Education and completed phase I (Master’s portion) in a Doctor of Behavioral Science program at California Coast University. Sy leased and operated a summer day camp in LA. He and his wife then purchased virgin wilderness land in Northern CA, where they built and operated a coed summer camp. They moved to Las Vegas, NV, and purchased, built and operated a community children’s program for families staying in a major resort casino in Las Vegas. They have created programs for children nationwide that employed many people and in the process developed successful training programs for personnel. This led Sy to lecture on how to train staff and the creating of community within the workplace. Sy was then invited to speak at professional conferences on how best to hire and train employees, which led to his becoming a consultant in the art of improving relationships in a work environment and eventually to his epiphany that “Leaders are the primary problem and the answer to the personnel issues that arise in the workplace.” Sy has written numerous papers on the subject of interpersonal relationships, leadership and power. He has lectured throughout the United States, has been interviewed by the media and has appeared on many radio and TV talk shows

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