The Leader That Needs to Be Liked

Any leader that has needs to be liked, admired, respected is in serious trouble, not only as a leader but as a person. When I was a leader I cannot remember, nor believe that I ever cared if any of my employees liked me or not. What ruled my behavior was the task at hand. If this meant instructing or admonishing an employee, I did what had to be done without any consideration for whether they liked me or not. I never knowingly embarrassed someone that I worked with. If I did, it was never intentional.

Frankly, if a leader is caught in the trap of “like/dislike,” they are unable to lead since if “events are to dictate,” that consideration will crowd out what is required or demanded.  It is a character flaw that diminishes one’s ability and value as a leader.

How does any leader that needs to be “liked”’ act? First, they are likely unsure of themselves, insecure in their leadership role, and even the work they do. In any case, they fail as a leader regardless of how they might succeed as an individual in any profession. 

Be sure, this is not true in many types of work people do. Teachers and parents must be secure in themselves. Any insecurity that emanates from any party in a relationship is problematic. Any ambiguity will be communicated.

We all want to be liked, but we should not let it affect our relationships.    

Being liked? Yes!—All humans need this, to be—But not at a cost.


Author: Sy Ogulnick

Sy Ogulnick received a BA from UCLA, Teacher’s Credential from Los Angeles Board of Education and completed phase I (Master’s portion) in a Doctor of Behavioral Science program at California Coast University. Sy leased and operated a summer day camp in LA. He and his wife then purchased virgin wilderness land in Northern CA, where they built and operated a coed summer camp. They moved to Las Vegas, NV, and purchased, built and operated a community children’s program for families staying in a major resort casino in Las Vegas. They have created programs for children nationwide that employed many people and in the process developed successful training programs for personnel. This led Sy to lecture on how to train staff and the creating of community within the workplace. Sy was then invited to speak at professional conferences on how best to hire and train employees, which led to his becoming a consultant in the art of improving relationships in a work environment and eventually to his epiphany that “Leaders are the primary problem and the answer to the personnel issues that arise in the workplace.” Sy has written numerous papers on the subject of interpersonal relationships, leadership and power. He has lectured throughout the United States, has been interviewed by the media and has appeared on many radio and TV talk shows

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