If we listen to the other, we hear them speak but may or may not understand what they say or intend to say. But “UNDERSTANDING” is a MUST, and agreement is not. Listening and understanding are central to any meaningful relationship. Like the parent who must listen to and do their best to understand their child, so must the teacher when relating to their students. And any leader when communicating with their subordinates.
Listening is primary, but if we listen, do we also understand? The only way to be sure is to tell the speaker what you hear and understand. Example: The listener might say: “Is this what you are saying?” The speaker will confirm one way or the other. If not, then clarification becomes essential.
If communication is to be meaningful, the speaker must keep their comments brief so that an exchange can take place. If the speaker talks on and on (as with many classroom teachers), they will lose their students as they drone on and on. Conversations suffer when a speaker speaks for too long a time.
When I lectured and ran workshops, my words were always as tight and brief as I could make them. This allowed me to ask what they thought and felt. I took responsibility for being brief, clear, and ready to say what I said again. I sought participation, not agreement.
Dialogue was my goal, and when it happened, the staff and leader were off and running the show. They had become one and related on a level playing field. How amazing to witness a traditional pyramid flatten out. “Confirmation” played a big part.
I listen, I hear—Do I understand your words?—Maybe, maybe not?
Sy
