It is now well past three years since Lenette and I sold our home and moved into “Revel,” an apartment complex for seniors. We are happy in our 4th-floor apartment with a patio in full view of the Sierras and Mt. Rose, facing south and west, including fabulous sunsets and storms coming over the mountains. Here, for the first time, we live with people of or near our age, an entirely new and different experience for us.
We know nothing of “old and retired” since this is so foreign to us, but we are professional observers of people’s behavior. This, perhaps more than anything else, helps us succeed in better understanding “old age.”
Among the residents here, couples are relatively few. Most here are singles, the majority of whom are women. Overall, the population is comprised of former professionals, including teachers, executives, and entrepreneurs. Generally, all here are well-educated.
Many appear to mix with others as we do at meals and activities. Yet, some remain islands unto themselves. These individuals and couples choose to refrain from joining with others. Occasionally, they’ll sit and mix with various people without forming attachments. This I consider a lost opportunity.
I’m not playing with words when I say socialize to stay alive. Socialization is serious stuff. I’m hopeful this essay will give many individuals, historical loners, and newbies the push to break into another’s space. I maintain that socializing is a must-do for every aging person. Being old is not an experience one seeks; for some, it happens even before they reach their seventies. Rarely, if ever, is this a joyful experience. How can anyone who has been an active participant in living believe that giving up skiing, biking, scuba diving, work, and other much-loved activities is a cause for being happy? Aging sucks, period.
I firmly believe it is important to socialize and listen to the stories others tell. Share your story, too, and give of yourself and allow yourself to be given to. Another thing one must do as one ages is to get a “job.” Take on activities as you once did your work and share that enthusiasm with others. The payback is better health, better feelings, and a better attitude. What more do you want? What more can you expect?
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