Each of us is different in small but significant ways. Even if identical twins we each witness the world from a unique place, that is, from within ourselves. The mixing of what is inherited with what is experienced (people and events) add up to our being different from any other. This reality contributes to the unique selves we were to what we are this moment and to what we are to become. Since nothing is exactly what it was a moment ago we are literally bombarded by people and events that push and pull us towards unknowns we cannot know until we are there. Not unlike a lump of clay we are constantly molded by forces beyond our ability to control including aging. This is “actual,” not potential, but the degree of change depends on experiences and how we incorporate them. Here, so much depends on our being courageous and vulnerable to others and events. How else do we learn?
If we take the time to know ourselves as we are this day we need to discover this from and through our meaningful relationships. Those close to us know us better than we can possibly know ourselves. We are subjective when it comes to knowing ourselves and more objective relative to the other as they are to us. We may think we know ourselves, but the evidence is sketchy. It is the other that knows us as we do them. Remember, the King thinks he’s dressed in finery, but everyone else sees him as he is without any clothes. Truth is so hard to come by?
Examples abound: Are we good partners, parents, teachers, students, leaders, employees, friends and how are we to know any of this without genuine dialogue which must include respect and trust existing between us? Also, how is any of this possible without really being there for and with the other in this moment or when the other or events calls for us to be present?
We know it takes “Two to Tango. “ A dance that demands some intricate and exotic moves from the parties involved. And so it is with relationships. We are either in step with others or out of step. This is so evident with significant others; doing the dance as it needs to be danced, is essential. There is either a coordinated dance that blends two and more into creative and productive relationships or confusion, stumbling and even conflict. So it goes with important relationships. Harmonious or dysfunctional it takes little to see, feel and know the difference. No one in the dance is fooled.
Everyone’s journey has to do with actualizing one’s self. That is, being as fully one’s self as is possible. This journey is rarely easy and certainly not a solo one. It requires others beginning with conception taking us into whatever life has in store for us. Our first lesson begins with our parents and formally or otherwise continues with others we interact with as we mature. The wiser amongst us seek to learn and allow experiences and others to enter into our very being. We are able to Tango. Sy
Differences vital———-Experience and others———-Essential to us
Am I successful?———–A question I must answer——–Since truth is within
Do I dance alone?———- It does take Two to Tango——- Completes the picture.
