Inside Relationships

The subject of relationships is important to me. It must be due to my history, beginning with all eight of our family members, including myself, living in crowded apartments. It is the foundation of who and what I became—a teacher, a facilitator, a peacemaker, and a leader of leaders.I did not make any of me. I was made by my relationships with my parents, sister, and three older brothers.

So, what are the complex ingredients that make relationships so important?  

Dialogue may be first in importance: brief disagreements never hurt those in relationships that work well and who are present with each other if each is hearing and doing their best to understand what is being said. Hearing leads to confirming, which is not agreement but understanding. Honesty is what those in quality relationships experience. At these times, all are together in maximum equality. There is no leader, no follower, but people in a relationship.

When a leader takes charge, the relationship changes; dialogue does not exist; instead, there is only monologue. Then, it becomes the leader’s responsibility to “empower” the other, which means recreating dialogue. No environment is as productive to relationships as the “Level Playing field.” Empowering this is the job of parents, couples, teachers, and leaders of every kind. They are responsible for the environment and relationships that empower, equalize, and nurture the best possible relationship between people.


Author: Sy Ogulnick

Sy Ogulnick received a BA from UCLA, Teacher’s Credential from Los Angeles Board of Education and completed phase I (Master’s portion) in a Doctor of Behavioral Science program at California Coast University. Sy leased and operated a summer day camp in LA. He and his wife then purchased virgin wilderness land in Northern CA, where they built and operated a coed summer camp. They moved to Las Vegas, NV, and purchased, built and operated a community children’s program for families staying in a major resort casino in Las Vegas. They have created programs for children nationwide that employed many people and in the process developed successful training programs for personnel. This led Sy to lecture on how to train staff and the creating of community within the workplace. Sy was then invited to speak at professional conferences on how best to hire and train employees, which led to his becoming a consultant in the art of improving relationships in a work environment and eventually to his epiphany that “Leaders are the primary problem and the answer to the personnel issues that arise in the workplace.” Sy has written numerous papers on the subject of interpersonal relationships, leadership and power. He has lectured throughout the United States, has been interviewed by the media and has appeared on many radio and TV talk shows

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