The answer is ABSOLUTELY, with my usual “but.” Emotional growth is impossible without relationships, particularly those that nurture. So here I speak of parents, family, friends, teachers, people we work with, and those who lead us.
The most effective of these is usually a parent or an older sibling who is close to us and takes us under their wing. For sure, those who lead us also teach us, whether deliberate or unconscious, “to be or not to be.”
Parents and siblings are probably the most important because they are there from our beginning. Being impacted and shaped by them is at our roots. To a great extent, we are a result of our family, but not wholly. And here is where change is not only possible but likely.
The mystery is in how we take in our experiences, whether physical, emotional, or intellectual, and the magic they do inside us. An example is our cat, Mia. About 7 years ago, we rescued her from the Animal Shelter. They told us she was about 4. At home, she scratched, bit, and generally remained aloof from us and very protective of herself.
Slowly and carefully, we built a “caring” relationship with her. In time, there were no bites or scratches. Today what she gives both of us is nothing but love and affection. She is completely family. Also, at first, she never showed herself to others. Now, she introduces herself to most as part of whatever is taking place. “I belong” is her message.
We are animals, and the same growth that occurs with our animals can and will happen with us. Give love and caring—listen, understand, and the people we live and work with can and likely will change and grow. Nothing and no one is unchangeable. Love is that powerful a curative.
Sy
Certainly our parents get the first crack at teaching us about life and how to live. My mom followed the old Roman Catholic rules as she knew. She couldn’t think for herself. My dad was constantly questioning and thinking for himself. He’d pull out a volume of our Encyclopedia Britannica after dinner, sit in his easy chair and read different parts of that volume. I recall after an hour or two of such reading, he looked up and said that he never realized how complex men were sexually. He had studied at Boston University for so long that the school gave him four degrees – BA, MBA, LLB, LLM – just to get him to make room for another student. I was surprised to discover his name on a couple of books on insurance law. He never did mention that he wrote those. However, his idea of a mystery novel wasn’t very good; it needed more of his time which he wasn’t ready to give to fiction writing. He was a terrific example and I was saddened to see him go at the young age of 65. Mom? 92.