If you are given only one sister, and she’s like Annette, how blessed you are. She was one of the kindest and most giving people one could be. Always there, always listening, always helping. She was her mother’s daughter. If there was a problem with being the only girl in the family, it almost always had to do with the one bathroom and the demand for it. Somehow, we made it work, but it was not easy.

She married Jim, a friend of Pete’s, and had two girls. The younger one (Lindy) needed to be in a dryer and warmer climate, so Annette and Jim decided to move to L.A. Since I was a student at UCLA, I moved in with Annette and her family. Anette’s marriage was never idyllic, and I became a third parent to the girls. We sang and told stories, and I took them to UCLA every so often. In summer, they came to Purple Sage. We were close. 

After the war, everyone but Joe and his family moved to Los Angeles. Annette and Jim went to Palm Springs often and eventually decided to move there. Lenette and I lived in Las Vegas and were making some meaningful money, so we invested in a Condo Annette and Jim could live in. They loved Palm Springs, and we visited and stayed with them.  

Sometime after Pa died, we visited Annette and Jim in Palm Springs. Annette immediately came to me and told me that she had suffered profound sadness since Pa’s death. While she had gone to a psychiatrist and psychologist for help, no one or treatment had helped her.

“Can you help me?” she asked.

I suggested she write Pa a letter. “Tell him everything about you. It may take a year but tell him the truth about your growing up and your life. Do not avoid anything. You’ll laugh, cry a bunch, and re-suffer growing up. Scratch the untruths, and re-write the truths. When finished writing to him, read it one last time, then burn the pages.”

I live my life over—but memories change nothing—now I understand 


Author: Sy Ogulnick

Sy Ogulnick received a BA from UCLA, Teacher’s Credential from Los Angeles Board of Education and completed phase I (Master’s portion) in a Doctor of Behavioral Science program at California Coast University. Sy leased and operated a summer day camp in LA. He and his wife then purchased virgin wilderness land in Northern CA, where they built and operated a coed summer camp. They moved to Las Vegas, NV, and purchased, built and operated a community children’s program for families staying in a major resort casino in Las Vegas. They have created programs for children nationwide that employed many people and in the process developed successful training programs for personnel. This led Sy to lecture on how to train staff and the creating of community within the workplace. Sy was then invited to speak at professional conferences on how best to hire and train employees, which led to his becoming a consultant in the art of improving relationships in a work environment and eventually to his epiphany that “Leaders are the primary problem and the answer to the personnel issues that arise in the workplace.” Sy has written numerous papers on the subject of interpersonal relationships, leadership and power. He has lectured throughout the United States, has been interviewed by the media and has appeared on many radio and TV talk shows

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *