Years of experiences providing workshop for people from literally every walk of life has blessed me with an array of tools and much understanding of what a successful education program in the “art of relationship” needs to be. Originally, I was employed to help professionals and entrepreneurs train their staff. After-all, it was what I did with considerable success for the prior 25 years.
Working with other leaders I quickly saw that most problems with staff had little to do with staff, but with the words and behavior of their leader. This troubled me since I had been a leader for 25 years and had no thought that I may have been the cause of the problems I had with individuals that worked for me.
I never remember asking staff “what kind of leader am I?” I just took care of problems as they arose. Staff problems were always “their” problem and I handled problems and problem staff with the belief that it was my job to solve problems and not to cause them.
Working with other leaders introduced me to the power these people possessed and the realization that it was the same power I had as a leader. I needed to understand (at last) what being a leader meant. This led to the issue of power and influence over others and to my doing research more intense than at any time in my life. I read everything from every source I could find on the subjects. My notes took up boxes as did my library fill top to bottom. I became a true student and loved every moment.
I also learned that there were leaders that sought me out expecting to gather “tools” in order to better dominate and manipulate their staff. That they might be their own worst enemy never entered their mind or psyche. Self growth was not what they sought, or open to any of that. Also, many had years of therapy and still believed they were not the problem; others were their problems. These people seek to change their appearance, not themselves. It’s always others they seek to change. I chose not to work with them, but did work with those that had the courage to accept “that they might be the barrier to the experience they sought.”Genuine Dialogue, GenuineRelationship and Authenticity.” Sy
